MONDAY OCTOBER 6th 2025

 Something is keeping me stuck and I can't seem to get out of my own way.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bouncing Back is Hard

 Not saying it can't be done, but rebuilding your life from ground zero takes a lot of work. It's not easy.  The plus side it that you get to rebuild it the way that you want.  And you've had a little bit of life experience to know what you do and don't want to include in your new life. I seriously have a lot of healing to do and I believe that is what is somewhat holding me back.  Not moving forward as fast as I would like is a bit discouraging.   I know I can do this. 
Read more

Showering is the hardest part (Day 2)

Sleeping in piles of trash, wearing the same dirty clothes for weeks, months... no personal hygiene for years.  Months and years of treating myself for skin mites has taken its toll. The showers are less scary now... for a LONG time showers were horrible and traumatic.  Rubbing the soapy water on my body caused the mites to scramble all over my body.  It took hours after my shower for them to calm down.  Shaving my head made it worse. They ran everywhere and had caused me to be a horrible mental state every single day after every shower.  The cleaning steps before and after my shower took hours each day. Prescription medication, creams... humiliating visits to doctors and dermatologists.
Read more

32 After Midnight

 The morning routine is almost down pat.  4/5 days this week I woke up at 7 and yesterday only two hours late, waking up at 9am.  Not bad.  I have taken my medication each morning, taken my vitamins and showered. Showering was the hardest part.  I now get it done earlier in the day and no longer carry around that sense of dread for hours that I need to shower and feel less gross. Midday is my new struggle.  What should I be doing between the hours of 12-3pm?  It is an odd time because baby is awake and wild. He doesn't too much wanna be bothered by me while he does his own thing.  Also I can't do anything else of my own because I am watching him.   I get tired and it gets hot.  That's a lie, it's not even that hot.  An excuse.  I feel overstimulated that my attention is on him, there are other things I should be doing... so many things that I can't pick one, so I don't do anything. I am going to work on that next week....
Read more